Something worth talking about..

Well, I have thought long and hard about how I'm going to do this - and it's not easy topic to talk about, and most people could not possibly understand. Though, having started going "through this" now, I realize that it's absolutely astonishing how many other people are in the same situation as we are. 


When we were dating, the questions everyone asked.. "when are you getting engaged?" "married?" "Are you going to move in together?" Then you get engaged, and it's "when's the wedding". The wedding is over, and now it's "when will you have kids?" 


If you know me at all, you know I adore children. From a very young age, I wanted more then anything to be a Mom. I had nothing other then what a perfect example of what a mother should be, growing up with my mom and my grandma's close by - I always had a constant example of an amazing mom, and I want(ed) to be that person. 


Something worth talking about.. getting pregnant is not all that easy. We're seeing a specialist for fertility. The amounts of people in that office every single day is staggering. I absolutely feel like we're NOT the only ones going through this. It's been a eye opening experience. When I first got the referral, I was sad, upset and just wanted for us to be a "normal" couple. Then once I started talking about it, I learned about friends, family and people I grew up with - people our age, going through the exact same thing too.  


Not everyone shared stories of people they knew who also received help getting pregnant. Not everyone was supportive. Some were surprised, shocked and asked questions or made statements like "you obviously haven't tried long enough" "maybe you're not doing it right" and "why do you need to go there, you're so young?" - well as much as those were not what I had expected, I realize - the majority of people have no what to say, and have no idea what it's like to be "us" - "us" meaning, the percentage of couples who do need to get a little, or a lot of help to become pregnant. 


So the long and the short of it was, that we did try before we got ourselves in to see the specialist. It's not just like something you sign up for, it's a referral process and it can take time. 


When I was 19 years old, I began seeing a family doctor that I worked with at the hospital. After assessing my overall health and well being I brought up some concerns, and she brought up some of hers. Mine were my extremely heavy & irregular periods, that I had a hard time losing weight, I never felt like I had a whole hell of a lot of energy, and a year prior to that I had a very painful ovarian cyst that had ruptured. 
It didn't take long for her to write up a requisition for me to do some blood work, and an ultrasound. She followed me closely for about 6 months, and then it was decided I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). She told me that that time, that I have a high probability of needing assistance through medications when it came time to start a family. Obviously at 19 that wasn't exactly in the "near" future plans, but of course it's always been in the back of my head. For the sake of consistency, I was put on birth control for medical reasons. 


And 8 years later, here we are. 


It's not my intention to broadcast our story in great detail. If you have questions, just ask. I'm not hiding anything and willing to talk (you know me) about my experience. I may from time to time share some things on here. The point of me sharing our story, is because people need to know there are many people in this world who are wearing the same boots as me right now, some hide it - some share it, some choose to share with close family and friends. 
We shared with close family & friends, until now, but in order to receive support and awareness for people struggling with infertility, our friends and family needs to know that the amounts of couples needing help is staggering, and with these statistics it is more than likely in your family, or group of friends may need the same support we are getting now. 


I really feel like this is something that is worth talking about. Hope you didn't mind. :) 

Sooo what's new & exciting...

Hey Everyone... have you tried any of the recipes I have posted? 


Well being that I just posted the Crispy Honey Sesame Chicken one last night, I'm sure you haven't tried that one - but I'm interested to see if anyone has tried the goat cheese chicken and, did you like it? love it? want some more of it?? Does anyone like that I post recipes, if so I'll keep doing it...


Has anyone else like "had it" with winter, even though we really, in south-western Ontario, have really barely had a winter! I just hate this in-between stuff. Blatantly because for like two weeks I have had this lingering cold, sore throat and sinus pressure that just will not go away! I'm chalking it up to being the damp cold weather we have been having! 


Sidenote: Did anyone else have like, crazy winds this weekend.. I swear, I'm surprised our roof did not blow off.. our neighbours JUST had their roof shingled and let's just say they are missing quite a few now! 


Needless to say, Neil has worked quite a bit with the icy and windy days, it's kept them quite busy. Last week he was on his 'early week' which has him into work at 4am, and home by 12:30pm - needless to say, he needs a nap by the time mid-afternoon rolls around! He does this once every three or four weeks. 


Sooo a couple of weeks ago, my Uncle was up to visit my Grandparents on Family Day, we were putting together a puzzle while Grandpa Jimmy coached us, Cam, Neil, Wayne, Grandma and I all slaved away.. it brings back memories, when we were little and Grandpa was always telling us how to do something.. because you and I both know, he knows better. Well my friends, now it's as simple as a frickin' puzzle - anyway, it keeps his mind going - and it's kind of cute. 
Anyhow, back to the point of this - a while ago this young lady popped by the farm with my Uncle, to take pictures of our cows - I wondered at the time why our cows, and what she was going to do with the pictures - well some time later, she sent my parents some sketches - WOW - is she ever talented! Her name is Sarah Hillock, and cows are her main focus, which obviously I love. This time I got the pleasure of hanging out with her while she took pictures again, this time though - it was of our newest and cutest babies! Oh my goodness, we had a lot of fun.. I cannot wait to see her work this time!!  
Check her website out - http://www.sarahhillock.com/ 


I'm looking forward to having this week slightly slower then most of the weeks this year - I have a few plans, like SEWING - really wanted to do more sewing this year, and yet it's March and I have done NONE - I have a lot of cutting done, but no sewing - productive? Somewhat. I have a few friends requesting some, so I will get on it this week. I do love doing them. Did I tell you, we bought a treadmill? Yes, so this week I'm spending more time on that aswell. Neil says we're going to have a competition. I will let him write the rules, because sure enough I will lose anyways. He is slightly competitive, to be honest! We are both trying to be healthier and eat better before we start to have kids! Of course, we're not perfect. ;) 


I'm looking forward to meeting Jamie-Lee sometime this week - we've been trying to get out for lunch for a long time, I have my photobook to show her and we need some time to catch up - we spent so much time together last summer, perhaps she needed a break from me! Though I see she's doing a couple more weddings this summer, so I must not have ruined her totally for wedding decorating!! Though I will say, we made a good team - and I loved my big day!!


It's a pretty exciting time right now for a few of our friends, some are buying houses (or intently looking) and some are having babies! For those of you who are, we are so excited for you and cannot wait for it all to happen for you!! 


Okay, I think that is all for today.. hope you're all doing well. 
Love,

Dinner - Crispy Honey Sesame Chicken {aka Jack Astor's ~ my version}

Ok, so apparently as of lately it's much easier to blog about what I cook, then what exactly is going on in my life - great eh? Can you tell I love food - when I have nothing else to say, food comes pretttyyy naturally... 


Tonight's Dinner - Crispy Honey Sesame Chicken.. on a work night, very easy and very delirious! I do not hide, this is no no way a "deep down home cooked meal" - but it's simply a pretty darn close attempt at trying to make Jack Astor's Crispy Honey Sesame Chicken, in which they now charge close to $20 for, for around.. $5 per person at home. Again, this isn't made from complete scratch, so don't judge me ok - it was taste I was going for.. 

You'll need...

3 good size Chicken Fingers per person - M&M's are THE BEST to use! (http://www.mmmeatshops.com/en/products/product.asp?productID=343&catID=4)

A bottle of Thai Sweet & Spicy Sauce (I just checked their website for it, and it's not showing anymore, but you can also buy a bottle of "cock" brand, {thats rooster my friends} Thai Sweet & Spicy Sauce at No Frills, it's a big bottle and it has a red label - it's about $2.00 per bottle. The one from M&M's hands down tastes WAY better, but I have used this brand before and it was okay too. 

Honey

Sesame Seeds, toasted 

Carrot, cut like matchsticks 

(did you know...you can buy them this way, found in some stores by the baby carrots!!)

1 Red Pepper, cut into fine strips

Sweet Snow Peas, rinsed

Bean Sprouts

3-4 Green Onions, finely chopped

Jasmine Rice, cook as directed

Bake chicken fingers as directed on package. 

Start Jasmine Rice in rice cooker or stove stop. We love our rice cooker and it makes it perfect every single time! We rarely use a rice cooker, but for the $20 is cost us for the cooker, these ethnic rices cook so nicely in it - it's SO worth it!! 

Prepare vegetables. In other words, if you bought the match stick carrotes, chop the green onion and red peppers - quick, yep!!

Toast your sesame seeds, have you done this before? It adds so much flavour to them! Put a frying pan on medium low and put your sesame seeds in the pan. Keep them moving in the pan, you will smell the aroma and notice they start to turn a light toasty brown. Shut the heat off when they are all equally toasted.

Meanwhile, add 3 parts Thai Sweet & Spicy Sauce and one part honey. I use about 3/4 cipe of the Sweet & Spicy and 1/4 honey. Pop is in the microwave in a small microwave safe bowl and heat until it's hot. Stir and heat again. The heating process will thin out of the sauce, and that's ok! 

Once the chicken fingers and rice are all done, turn a large wok or frying pan, add a little olive oil and stir fry the carrots and red peppers. The amount of vegetables you want, depends on if you like them - we love ALL of these vegetables, so I tend to cook a lot! Once they are soft, throw in a handful or two of bean sprouts, the snow peas and toss. Basically you just want the sprouts and snow peas to be warm, not cooked. Once this is achieved, add 3/4 of the green onions and shut off the heat. Toss again. 

Now you're ready to plate.. lay a bed of Jasmine Rice, then chop up the chicken into bit size pieces, then add the stir fried red pepper, carrot, snow peas and bean sprouts on top. Drizzle with the hot Thai Sweet & Spicy Sauce/Honey mixture, and spring toasted sesame seeds and reserved green onion on top! 


You're ready to eat, hope you enjoy!

Dinner Time - Goat Cheese Chicken Pasta

Alright, so I wanted to use the blog to not only share with friends., family and followers about our life - but also to share recipes! I love to cook {you wouldn't know for looking at me, would you!} and I quite often make some things that I surprise myself with - this was one of those inventions. Tonight I made it for the second time, it was a total hit on the first night. Neil requested it for tonight! 


Note: I do not measure anything, unless I'm baking.. so if I give a measurement, it's usually an estimate. I gauge it for however many people are eating. 


Goat Cheese Chicken Pasta (for two people)


1 chicken breast per person (pounded to be about 1/2 inch thick)
Panko crumbs
Italian bread crumbs
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp aprox of yellow mustard
garlic and onion powder and seasoning salt (if you like)
1/4 each of mushrooms, any pepper, and red onion finely chopped
1/2 cup of mushrooms, any pepper, and red onion coarsely chopped
2 florets of broccoli, steamed
Spaghetini Pasta/Angel Hair Pasta (or your favourite) cooked to your liking 
Olive Oil or Butter
Your favourite pasta sauce (we love Ragu or Prego!)
Goat Cheese


Ok so here we go.. I took pictures - so let me know what you think!


Pound out the chicken breasts to be about a 1/2 inch thick. 


Preheat oven to 375 degrees. 


Crack two eggs into a shallow marinating tray and beat them. Add a small amount of mustard and mix together. 


In a second marinating tray put equal parts of Italian bread crumbs and Panko. Add garlic powder, onion powder and seasoning salt to crumb mixture. I think I use about 5 shakes of each power, and three seasoning salt - which is likely about 1 tsp of the powders, and 1/2 teaspoon of the salt. Obviously this is only for two chicken breasts, so for more, use more.

Next take the pounded out chicken and coat it in the egg mixture, then transfer it to the crumbs, and ensure breast is coated well. Take the coated chicken back to the egg mixture and repeat through egg and crumbs for a second time. Do this to each breast. 

Next spray a baking pan with Pam, or a cooking spray and put chicken in baking dish. Bake at 375 degrees for about 35-40 minutes. Depending on the thickness of the breast, time will vary. 

Meanwhile, take the finely chopped vegetables (mushrooms, onion & peppers) and saute in oil or butter in a small pan. Cook these vegetables well. Set aside. 

Meanwhile, lightly steam broccoli and cook pasta to your liking. 

Then take the coarsely chopped mushrooms, peppers, and onions and saute them lightly in a pan. I don't mind lightly cooked vegetables that leave a bit of a crunch, so I lightly saute them - however if you liked them cooked more, do that to your liking. 

Once the chicken is done, bring it out of the oven and top with the finely chopped sauteed mushrooms, onions and peppers. Also top with a couple tablespoons of your favourite pasta sauce,  and finish with goat cheese. 

Pop chicken back into oven under the broiler! We love garlic bread, so I popped a couple pieces in with it while it was cooking. Once goat cheese starts to bubble or brown, it's done. 

Meanwhile, finish cooking pasta and transfer coarsely chopped cooked veggies including the broccoli into a skillet. Also, add 1/4-1/2 cup of your favourite pasta sauce, and the pasta into the skillet. 

Toss together, on medium low heat and bring to serving temperature. 

Plate the pasta, and top with chicken breast. If you LOVE goat cheese like we do, crumble a bit on the pasta before you top it with the chicken. 

One of our new favourites! I hope you enjoy it as much as we do! It's going to be a weekly thing around here I think! Please, let me know if you're going to try it and what you think. If you don't like goat cheese, I'm sure it would be delicious with feta too! 

I need to get back into this, because I love it!

Alright, I'm back atter now. I want to do this again, because last year I loved doing it. My thing was sitting with my {then} fiancée, {NOW} HUSBAND..while he watched TV and yes.. I blogged. He even loved reading them. So even though my blogging friends at lacking {Jen K, Amanda A, Natalie F, Jackie C.. } just to mention a few names - I am no-longer going to lack. 


So the update. We are married. Tomorrow will be 4 months! Married life is great. There really is no change.. we are the same people we were a year ago. Just as busy and life is just as hectic. We are really enjoying the fact that I am working closer to home now, and the stress of driving in the winter is a little less. I am still working at the hospital a between 2-3 shifts a pay, and sometimes more depending on the need or them, or me. The 911 gig is going great, I am LOVING it and really enjoying working with the ladies and gents of OPS. 


 Lennox is 1 year & 8 months old - she is still crazy as ever! I cannot tell you how smart she is, well I can - but the examples would be never ending. She is very suggestive when she is ready to play {brings you toys and sets them on your lap}, wants to go for a walk {goes and sits at the front door, by her hanging leash} ect. She also is very attentive with when Neil should be coming home from work, and often lurks around the front door until he makes the driveway when she goes absolutely a-wall like an intruder is about to invade - nevertheless, she is just so excited to see him - she can barely contain herself. 


Holy snow, everyone thought it would never come.. well guess what my friends - it's here. We have had some crazy accumulation in the last week. Neil has been busy as heck at work, which he is still loving. Speaking of loving, he has a new baby - he bought a truck! He is loving his truck, and I am too. He has been looking for a while now, and we found one that we both liked. Anyway, I have to admit I am loving driving it - and wouldn't mind if he wanted to switch cars for the day any time! :)  The Blue SX2 is heading to my parents, I think mostly for my brothers use. He is looking forward to having it to boot around in, and it will be perfect for him.


I started reading this blog, a fellow Canadian - those of you who love to laugh - check this one out!! http://www.saigewisdom.blogspot.com/ - her CONFESSIONS post is hilarious!



I have had two very special deliveries in January! Auntie Ashleigh & Uncle Neil DOUBLED our BROOD January 2012. WOOHOO! 

Please welcome Katelyn Jane, born January 8th - she is happy, healthy and beautiful. Big sister Haley is doing fantastically with her little sister - I am so proud of her!! You would not believe how many boyfriends Kate already has! I could not be happier for one of my best friends Keri, and her husband Dale. This is a dream come true for them!! We are so proud to be their Auntie Ash & Uncle Neil! 
We love you guys, so much and are SO HAPPY for you!! 

Then new as new, Mr. Eric Andrew came into the world, less then a week ago on January 25th! A second boy (see a pattern) for Pammy & Art, and again I could not be more thrilled for them. Big brother Alex is clearly adoring Eric!! He is not even two yet, but already has a "girlfriend" {above!!} and a best friend {his brother, whether he likes it or not!} We are so proud to be their Auntie Ash & Uncle Neil, Alex & Eric!!

Aren't these children ADORABLE!?!

So speaking of children, your likly wondering, because everyone seems to be, as is the rest of the world with questions flying my way, left and right every single day! Yes, we're trying!! There's your answer. When we have news, you will all find out!! 


Anybody sticking to their "new years resolutions".. I'm really not good at that, so this year I abstained! 


However, I am planning to join a "learn to run" clinic in the spring. I actually was fully committed to starting a couple of weeks ago, however my schedule changed a little bit and that prevented me from going to the first three clinics. After speaking to a friend who has done it, I've decided the spring start is the better option for me. So I'm looking forward to that, I really want to do something and I thought this might help me. It would be a great way for me to get out more with Lennox, and gosh does she love running - so she could be my buddy and wouldn't tell anyone how many times I had to stop, or how many bad words I said while we were out. Do any of you run/jog? What are some tricks of the trade when it comes to this? Please help!! I will pre-prepare myself with your advice!!


And before I go, one thing I want to share with you. After a very short yet hard battle with a very aggressive cancer, we {the ladies of the birthing suites at CVH} say a fond farewell to our dear friend Marian. She passed away Novemeber 1st, 2011. I made this tribute to her, to be placed on the Birthing Suites unit at the hospital. I have worked with Marion for 8 years, she was a wife to Alvin and a mother to a beautiful 5 year old girl, Francesca. When I lived in Missisauga, she lived just around the corner from me. I'd drop her off at home after night shifts sometimes, she was the sweetest person. Her smile was infectious. She was a great nurse, and a great friend. She will always be in my heart. 

Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers always. 


Ok, I better stop here. 
See - so much to say, no commitment. 
I will blog again, therefore I will continue my commitment. 
As mentioned, {Jen K, Amanda A, Natalie F, Jackie C.. } I wouldn't mind if you followed suit.
Love,

our wedding...

Yes, it's nearly been two months. Hard to believe how fast time flies, but then again, I should know better. What a year it has been! I am happy to say, that our day was perfect {except for the fact that I think its warmer on November 26th, then it was the day we got married} but all in all, our day could not have been better! 

So October 1st, 2011 at 3:00pm we got married at St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church in Swinton Park. This is the church that I grew up in, and the minister, Rev. John Hogarwaard who was preaching at our church when I was younger, married Neil and I.  Surrounded by 160 of our friends and family, we said our "I do's" - it was the best day of my life, and I think Neil would say it was the best day of his too. 

As apart of our ceremony, we incorporated some memory candles for those who were taken from us over the passed year, and would have been there for our big day. Jamie-Lee and I designed this candle holder for this exact purpose, and it will forever stay in our home. I love it. 


After the ceremony, we went down a sideroad and had some pictures taken with our wedding party! I cannot wait to get our pictures back from Amanda! I am sure they are going to look amazing!


We then met up with our family at the Holstein Community Park for family pictures and more wedding party shots! 

 I surprised Neil with arranging to have a fire truck from Dundalk come to the park, I wish I could have arranged to have someone take a picture of his reaction, better yet a video. The siren sounded, and he looked at me. I just kind of shrugged it off, and then he saw the truck coming towards us, filled up with some of the Milliner Clan. He was so surprised, and all the {little white } lies were worth it just to see his reaction that day.  

I look at this picture, and remember thinking I want this to last forever. If you're not married take in every moment with this day comes. The day flies by. So many friends of mine gave me the save advice, and I took it but wish I could have slowed things down even more then I tried that day. I mean, don't drag your feet, but you know - take it all in - moment for moment. 

Our reception was held at the Egremont Optimist Hall in Holstein, we had that place decorated to the NINES in my eyes, and I loved every single aspect of what we did to dress that place up for our big day. It was perfect in every way, and exactly... EXACTLY how I pictured it in my mind for the last year. Our caterer was Peter Chaplin from Markdale, and I cannot tell you how many people have said how great the food was at our wedding. Each time someone comments about our wedding, it's about how nice the hall looked and how great the food was {no, not about how stunning the bride looked... }.. they must have forgot about me?? LOL Just kidding. 

 My decorating vision was put into reality because of a very dear friend of mine, Jamie-Lee Higginson, of Prim Pickins. We basically tore my house, and her house and work shop apart bringing things to decorate our wedding. Her and I made the centre pieces, the favours, and so many other things that tied into our theme, and added so many little details that everyone noticed and will always remember. Thank you Jamie-Lee for everything you did for me, as I said in my speech, you're not just the "girl who makes everything in my house" to make my love of country decor, in my home - you're a dear friend to me too. Thank you! <3

In addition to the "surprise" fire truck at the pictures, I also had Debbie our family friend, who made our wedding cake do a "grooms cake" for Neil, surprise!! Another fire truck. She did a great job and all of the cake was delicious! We saved the top layer to eat next year, it's in the freezer.. anyone want cake? LOL I was told it's a tradition, who knows what it'll taste like a year from now. 

We loved our wedding cake, it was one of the first things we decided on and loved it from the moment we found the picture online. I helped Debbie make the leaves from gumpaste and we painted them with edible paint and shimmer. They looked amazing! Thank you Debbie!!


Our bouquets and flowers for the wedding, were done by Lisa Marshall from Country Petals in Dundalk. I would highly recommend her  business for any flower arrangements, as she took a picture I had picked and adjusted the flowers (still keeping in the same flower families and colours) to to my budget! Thank you Lisa for your wonderful talent! I appreciate everything you did for our flowers, we LOVED them!!

I cannot WAIT to get our wedding pictures back and share them with you, they should be coming very soon, just in time for Christmas!! I cannot wait. Amanda Arch Photography, you are one AMAZING photographer and business lady! I congratulate you in your first year of business - you have become super successful and the one and only person I send my friends to to get their family, newborn and any other kind of photography they need. I hope you continue to grow in your business, and your talent! Love you lady!! Here is the sneak peak we got from her.. don't you LOVE IT?? WE DO!!

Our wedding dance was a huge party, I loved that everyone had a lot of fun and tons of people were dancing all night long. I could have danced all night long, until I stopped and realized I could not feel my feet anymore, and at 2:00am - we called it a night! Wasn't that a party!?!?

And that was our wedding day, it flew by quicker then I thought but we enjoyed every single moment. I wouldn't change a thing for the world, except for the temperature but I wouldn't have wanted to be too hot either. A girl can't ask for much more then that? 


Thank you to our family, friends and wedding party - our day was perfect because of you. We love you all and cannot wait to share more memories with you!

Love From, 

The Mrs. Milliner-Cowan <3

{ we're married }

Will write all about our wedding day, another day - but until then, here's some special pictures from our day! <3